Introduction by Dr Georgia Pavlopoulou
We all experience emotions, but talking about them isn’t always easy. Emotions are the feelings we have in response to what’s happening around us - our experiences, relationships, and daily lives. For example, sadness might come from loss, disappointment, or feeling disconnected. But it’s important to remember that emotions don’t look the same for everyone. People can feel, express, and manage their emotions in very different ways - and all of those ways are valid.
Autistic people with or without a learning disability may express their emotions in ways that others can find surprising. For autistic people, emotions can sometimes feel especially intense, internal, or overwhelming. Some people might find it hard to put their feelings into words, while others may express them in ways that aren’t always immediately understood by those around them. This can be linked to things like sensory sensitivities or differences in identifying and describing emotions (sometimes called alexithymia).
Even with growing awareness, autistic emotional experiences are still often misunderstood - particularly in schools and colleges. Behaviours can be judged at face value, without recognising the feelings underneath. When this happens, it can lead to distress, frustration, and missed chances to provide the right support.
At Autism Central, we believe learning should always include listening. We continue to learn from autistic people of all ages, valuing their lived experiences to shape better, more compassionate support.
In the blog post below, autistic college student Ava shares her personal perspective. From my own experience as a student, I have seen how powerful it is when adults take the time to really listen. When parents, teachers, and staff understand how a young person experiences and manages their emotions - and adapt their support accordingly - it can make a huge difference. Feeling understood can help prevent overwhelming situations and build a sense of safety and trust.
5 things I wish school and college staff knew about autistic emotions
by Ava Popple
As an autistic college student, I believe there needs to be greater awareness and acceptance of how autistic students experience and express emotions. Based on my own experience, here are five things I wish school and college staff understood about autistic emotions, and how this understanding can help them better support autistic students.
1. Understanding alexithymia
Some autistic people experience alexithymia. This means difficulty in identifying, describing and / or understanding one's own emotions. As a result of alexithymia, autistic students may feel dysregulated due to not being able to understand or process their environment or themselves. This can lead to avoidance of tasks, impulsivity (including acting out in frustration) and negative thinking patterns. Alexithymia can also cause mental distress that even the person themselves may not be able to recognise.
What can education staff do to support?
When an autistic student is in distress, the first step should be to ensure they are in a safe place. This does not necessarily mean a sensory room, but any place they feel is best. For example, even sitting in the corner with a pillow can work, if that's what makes them feel safe!
If you simply ask the student “what’s wrong?”, many autistic people (including myself) may feel like the answer is “everything”. A more helpful approach would be to ask more specific questions, such as “Is anything physically bothering you right now?” or “Is there anything in particular on your mind?”. This allows the person to identify any physical or other issues that may be causing an emotional response. Visual scales or choosing from a list of emotion words or emojis can also help students identify what is going on without needing to explain everything straight away.
In addition, being clear and direct in conversations with students is key, so that there is less unnecessary information to process. When someone is already emotionally dysregulated, adding extra demands or information can make things worse.
2. Intense emotional empathy
Many people assume autistic people lack empathy. This is not true! Many autistic people, including myself, experience very intense empathy. This can lead to strong emotional reactions and some people may even mirror other people’s feelings. For example, I may feel a tight chest and start shaking, because my body is physically responding to emotional distress in my environment.
What can education staff do to support?
The best way to support a student with strong emotional reactions is by providing a sensory safe environment for them. What matters most is having a space that feels safe to the individual.
Validating our feelings is also very important, even if they may not seem significant to others. In my experience, I can sometimes feel “the weight of the world”. People may say “you don’t have to worry about that; it’s not affecting you”. However, it is affecting me because I feel it physically in my body. I have a physical response to other people’s pain and suffering. Gentle reminders such as “You may be picking up on a lot around you right now” can help students make sense of intense emotional responses without feeling ashamed or dismissed.
Allowing students time to decompress away from the classroom, to meditate and relax can also be very helpful in these situations. My personal strategies when feeling intense emotions include distraction and organisation. For example, watching a comfort TV programme (sitcoms are my favourite!), tidying my room, light studying and avoiding intense topic-based conversations can help.
3. Autistic shutdowns:
An autistic shutdown is an involuntary response to overwhelm caused by sensory overload, emotional burnout, or stress. This can result in becoming very quiet (sometimes with an inability to speak), low energy, difficulty completing tasks and a need to isolate. Shutdowns can last a short time, several hours or even days. In rare cases, they can last weeks. They may be triggered by one small issue or an accumulation of many things. They are more likely during burnout, illness or after a recent shutdown.
What can education staff do to support?
In school or college, it can be difficult to recognise the signs of an autistic shutdown. If you spot any of the signs mentioned above, check in with the student to see if they are okay.
Do not force the student to speak during a meltdown, as they may not be able to. Ask students to share their preferred way of communicating during a shutdown. When I am unable to speak, I email my teachers and let them know how I will be communicating, for example. Reassuring students that different ways of communication are acceptable is really important to help avoid miscommunication and stress.
After a shutdown, students may need time before they can return fully to learning. Allowing a gradual return, rather than expecting them to bounce back immediately, and reducing workload can reduce further stress.
4. Expression differences:
Many autistic people, including myself, may not express emotions through typical facial expressions. For example, I may feel happy but not smile. This can lead to miscommunication but is completely normal.
During a shutdown, or at other times, tone of voice may also change. For example, I may speak in monotone without realising it. This can make it difficult for others to interpret how I am feeling. Usually, this passes naturally, but for some people it may be more constant.
What can education staff do to support?
Avoid assuming a student is rude, uninterested, or disengaged based on tone or facial expression alone. A flat tone, limited facial expression, or reduced eye contact does not mean a student does not care. Looking beyond outward expression can prevent misunderstandings and help staff respond more fairly.
If you are unsure how a student is feeling, ask them directly rather than relying on body language or tone alone.
Over time, noticing how a student naturally expresses themselves can help staff recognise when something is genuinely different or when it is simply their usual way of communicating. Ask the student if they would like you to check in with them to see if they are okay, if you notice any differences in their communication.
5. Overwhelm from change:
Change can be particularly challenging for autistic people. For me, even small changes can feel overwhelming because they can cause processing delays and long-term stress. Larger changes, such as transitioning from primary to secondary school, can lead to prolonged periods of stress and possible burnout. Smaller changes such as a new seating plan, room layout or even if someone changes their appearance can also cause more short-term anxiety.
What can education staff do to support?
Give students as much notice as possible, if there are any changes. Having a heads-up before a change happens makes a big difference for me.
Explain what the change will involve as clearly as possible. Even small changes can feel much bigger when they are uncertain. Letting students know what will happen, when it will happen, and what to expect can reduce anxiety.
Give students time to process the change. Some students may need longer to adjust, ask questions, or mentally prepare. Building in extra time can make transitions feel less sudden and overwhelming.
You can also watch Ava's video on the Autism Central YouTube channel.
About Ava
Ava is an autistic sixth-form student, autism advocate, blogger, and content creator for Autism Central. Through her work, she is passionate about raising awareness, educating others, and inspiring positive change. Ava’s goal is to use her lived experience to help people better understand autism and to empower autistic individuals to thrive.